A woman has left people divided after saying one of her bridesmaids refused to lose weight for her wedding – but she insists that the friend initially offered to slim down
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A woman has left people divided after saying one of her bridesmaids had refused to lose weight for her wedding – but insists that the friend had initially offered to slim down.
The woman said that she had gone dress shopping with her bridesmaids and picked out the perfect attire, but that particular dress was only available in sizes up to a 16.
One of the friends couldn’t fit into the dress, but offered to lose weight for the woman’s big day – so with that agreed, she bought the dresses for all the bridesmaids.
The wedding is now drawing near but the friend hasn’t lost any weight yet, and now the bride-to-be has left people divided online after seeking advice on her tricky situation.
What do you think the woman should do? Let us know in the comments…
Taking to parenting forum Mumsnet, she wrote: “I got engaged about a year and a half ago, and we set the date for April 2023.
“Almost a year ago, myself and my bridesmaids had a couple of trips to go dress shopping. We saw a bridesmaid dress that we all absolutely adored, but it turned out that they only did it up to a size 16.
“My best friend who is my maid of honor is a bigger girl so it didn’t seem like this was going to work.
“However, she said, off her own back and unprompted, that she was going to lose weight for the wedding anyway and so we should get them. I told her she didn’t need to do that but she insisted it was fine so we bought them.
“Fast forward a year, and she’s made almost no effort to try and get the weight off. I haven’t raised it with her at all and left her to it, but having just been away for a girls’ weekend, it was quite obvious that she’s now even bigger than when we bought the dresses (and bigger than she’s ever been) and doesn’t seem to be moderating her eating at all
“The wedding is now basically nine months away and I’m stressing that I’m going to end up having to find (and pay for, because I’ve already bought the current ones) new dresses.
“She’s said at various points since then that she was going to join the gym, start Slimming World, etc, but hasn’t actually done any of it. I was conscious that she wasn’t losing weight, but the weekend away showed that she’s bigger than ever.”
Soon the woman was inundated with comments from fellows Mumsnet users, and people were divided over what to do.
One said: “Just speak to her and see what she wants to do. If she does need a bigger dress could you sell the one you have for her and find another second-hand one in a size/ style that will go with the other dresses or she may offer to pay.
“I think you’re unreasonable until you speak to her. If she’s your maid of honor she should be a good friend so surely between the two of you could come up with something?”
But another said: “You think she has chosen to be overweight?
“How would you feel if your ‘friend’ did this to you. Took you dress shopping with a load of skinnier people and made you feel lesser because the only dresses they have are too small. She probably felt she couldn’t say no! “
And a third added: “I don’t think you sound a cow but buying the dress was a mistake.
“Could you just get another dress a month or so before your wedding in the right size even if the dress doesn’t match the other bridesmaids’ dresses? I think that’s what I would do.”
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Soon the woman replied in the comments and added some more context.
She said: “Wow, some big assumptions there!
“I never said she chose to be overweight. There was also no case of making her feel lesser. The shop had dresses in bigger sizes, but it happened to be these ones (and she was the one who first saw them and said how lovely they were) that we loved.
“I was very discreet asking the shop assistant about sizes as I was aware they didn’t do everything in larger sizes, and didn’t say anything about it in front of the other girls, just to her on her own afterwards.”
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